Life – The Biggest Lies

Meal for one – one what? Squirrel?

Forms an unbreakable bond – until you first use whatever you’ve tried to fix.

That’s lovely – just what I wanted – it’s going in the bin as soon as you leave…

One size fits all – I don’t think you’re talking about humans here are you….?

Next day delivery – tomorrow never comes though does it DHL?

Simply plug it in – and spend the rest of your week trying to get the gadget connected to your router which is sitting 6 inches away.

No fuss Returns – unless you’re picking it up from my front door then there will be fuss. Also, you can take payment in an instant but it takes 4 weeks to give me a refund – what’s that all about then?

Lasts for 30 days – in a sterile lab perhaps.

No smear cleaner – which always smears worse than the cleaner you binned in order to try this no smear nonsense

We won’t be beaten on price – you can be beaten very easily on price if I look online but you don’t recognise the Internet as a valid shopping medium do you!

DFS sale ends next Monday – and a new one will start on Tuesday at 0.0001 seconds past midnight.

Kids will love it – for 2 minutes, if at all.

Same great taste but only half the calories – the calories are there for a reason.

With respect – what I am about to say will show you no respect whatsoever because you are a total plank.

Serves two – nah, that’s a Meal For One………..